---r a c o n | t e u r---

Atashi... I guess I was liking him because I see an anime character in him... Sabishii... I don't think I can honestly like somebody in reality... I just realized how I honestly wish to be part of a manga... of a story... And be able to be in a world where there would be a person who would be just like Izumi-san, like Tamaki-kun.... like Daiya... like Yuki... like all those bishounen in the shoujo manga that I read... I'm stuck in this world... and I cannot tell myself that I like a person just because he is similar to a manga character... I hate the idea of liking a person because I see another person in him... That's just mean...

Atashi... Honto ni suki... I really like him... I feel that he is important to me... But I'm confused... It seems to be that he is too far away... And I know how he cannot like me. Him liking me... that's just some fantasy that would remain as one... I know I have to do something if I want something to happen... But this is so hard... I really feel troubled as I think of him all the time... Am I giving up...?

If there is one thing that I learned in all the manga I read, it would be not to give up something that is precious to you... Should I keep persistent...? But I'm also afraid of the pain that these things can cause me...

Though it is true that sadness comes after happiness, the only thing that can come after that time of sadness would be bliss... Maybe I'd be able to see him smile again... then I'd find tears falling from my eyes in my time alone... But then... the only thing I'd hope for is to see him and be with him...

Aitakute...